Thursday, November 17, 2011

Of Endings

Some trees are still full of leaves
But they are in the minority now
Soon all the trees will be bare
Only a few shriveled leaves hanging on in the crisp air
A fate that was clear from the moment
The first leaves appeared in March or April
A fate that shadowed every summer day
Like a sky full of puffy white clouds
A fate that is now heavy in the air
Seemingly pulling the leaves off of the trees
The ones that are still full of leaves

A Provisions List for Grandma

Two percent Milk
Soy milk
Big yogurts (strawberry banana and peach)
Cottage cheese
Applesauce (natural … no sugar added)
Cheese (doesn't matter what kind, but it should come in a blue package
Edamame (frozen in the shell)
Cheerios
Honey nut cheerios
Rice crispies or rice chex
Raisin bran
Fruit (it doesn't matter what kind, it's only a prop)
Whole wheat toast
Whole wheat crackers (round preferably)
Chicken nuggets (Aldi brand if possible/if you want your grandson to eat them)
Whole wheat pasta
Mac and cheese
Diet coke
Granola bars (some hard and some soft so that everybody can complain)
Canned black olives
Canned corn
Goldfish crackers (hide these)
Gummi vitamins
Valium (could be for anyone)

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Doing Nothing

For at least ten minutes
I barely move my left hand
As I type
Because
There is a Cat’s head resting on it and
A cat’s purr
Is drowning out the sound of the computer and
Because
I realize now
More than ever
That sometimes
All you are being asked to do
Is nothing

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Reporting Back at The End of the Day

“Mom …
The heart beats loud not scary I pushed buttons and heart beat hear dolphin up top tiger and bunny fast boom boom boom boom boom I in heart I in train big train and train in box both move but in box little other train big Daddy ask Sissie if she need to go to bathroom Sissie says no We see blood Sissie only have a little blood but Daddy has lot of blood We see show two pieces of glass dark not scary Sissie scared I not scared we do sports room too then we go home”

Friday, November 11, 2011

Present

Eating cheerios out of a green plastic bowl and
Bouncing up and down
Silently
Not watching me work
Not talking to me
Not really waiting for anything to happen but
Nonetheless there
Just there
Holding on to the edge of my desk
Bouncing and
Eating cheerios

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Yearning for the egg

My son’s stuffed turtle wants to go back to the egg
I heard him say it through the monitor tonight and
Breathed a sigh of relief
I’d been worried about the little guy
Shoved into a little plastic van or
My old Playskool mailbox
Sleeping under the covers and
Under more than just the covers
Periodically forced into the washing machine and
Then the dryer
Occasionally ending up under the seat in the car or
In the stroller
Yesterday closed in a big soup pot
With a lot of plastic vegetables
I’d pictured it as a prison
But now
Well now I know he might have been swimming
Not dwelling on how he can’t pull in his arms and legs but
Just floating around on a big plastic carrot or
Fennel bulb and
Enviously eyeing
The wooden egg

Monday, November 07, 2011

Joe Frazier ... in the 14th round again

Joe Frazier is in hospice
He has liver cancer and
May not make it to the end of 2011
Though I’m sure he wants to but
He didn’t make it to the end of that last fight with Ali either and
He wanted to
He could barely see and
Was taking a beating and
When most of us would have headed for the exit
Of our own volition
He wanted to continue
He wanted to continue
But he didn’t
He couldn’t
His trainer stopped the fight
Frazier protested but
It was out of his control and
Now
Joe Frazier is in hospice and
He’s still not eloquent
Not flashy and
Not giving up
And
He’s still not in control

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Climbing Everest

At four thirty in the morning
The stairs
Seem like the Himalayas
So maybe
If I put my son on the top of K-2 or
Everest and
Had him scream that he couldn’t find his stuffed turtle
I could reach the summit
Maybe if I had him ride in a car
A few paces ahead of me
Screaming about how the covers were tangled
I could run another marathon and
Break four hours though
His sister might have to be sleeping in the car next to him
It’s really too bad there is no place to put him
On the other side of a completed novel or
A good paying and interesting job but
There isn’t
It’s just easier to put him to bed
In his crib
Upstairs in Levittown and
That’s OK because
It would be awfully hard
To go back to sleep right away
After climbing Everest

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Of Purple Rooms and Promises

I want my room to be purple again
It’s the cry of every two year old boy
At 9:45 at night
A few days after his room
The one he took from his parents
Ceased to be decorated in shades of purple
Meant originally to be a backdrop for
Miniature Zen gardens
Bubbling fountains
Large O’Keefe flower prints and
Bamboo shades
A reality that never completely materialized or
Dissipated
Until last week
When the primer went on
Followed by the beautiful blue
That’s what it was called
Beautiful blue
And beautiful and
Fresh and
Smelly it was and
Still is
Even tonight
In the dark
When
More than an hour after being put into bed
My son lies in his bed
Screaming for the dark
Dirty
Purple to
Return and
I
Sitting in my little orange bedroom
Originally supposed to be the office
Hear him
Loud and clear

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Then

We are
Then
We aren’t
Then we aren’t
Then
Then is the edges of your fingertips and
The hairs on your arms
It’s when you publish a new blog entry
It’s in between your daughter hopping out of your car at 8:52 and
Getting back in at 11:49
It’s lying next to her
Or him
When you are still naked and
Your mind hasn’t moved on to whether or not you need to buy kleenex
It’s when you take your very last breath
It is then
Then it isn’t
We are
Then
We aren’t

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

October Snow

Leaves loaded with snow
Sails on wooden vessels
All running aground

A Long Halloween Day

Today ... I Burned the candle at both ends
And in a pumpkin

At least this way there is a light in my eyes and
I have a radiant smile