Saturday, December 18, 2010


Santa’s are like roaches
Or bed bugs
This time of year
I expect to see one in the kitchen cabinet in the morning
When I pull out a cereal box and
Even if you don’t see one
The threat is continually there
Maybe Santa’s are more like cocaine than cockroaches
Because you do have to go looking for them or
At least go to certain kinds of places
It’s not that there are elves on dimly lit street corners
In the seedier parts of town
With Santa’s hidden underneath dark green coats but
If you frequent tree lightings
Carol sings and
Department stores
You can’t avoid them and
They are addictive and
It’s a bill that keeps coming due and
An addiction that can impact a whole family
Even if you don’t use
It impacts you
Our whole society is overwhelmed
For a period of time that
Seems to grow longer and longer every year
Productivity slumps
People spend money they don’t have and
Are overtaken by irrational glee and
If you have children …
The Santas practically hunt you down
You aren’t even safe in your own house
In our neighborhood one roars around on
A firetruck
All night long
One night a year
Christmas Eve
The night of the ultimate home invasion
The night that my pusher finally comes through
The denouement of my favorite infestation

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