Divergence

What I wouldn’t do to find myself

Standing in the woods

At the point of divergence of two roads

Rather than standing on this hand cart

Smack dab in the middle of a switching yard

In the early afternoon

Having skipped lunch and

Having only used the extra time

To scoot around some more in the yard

Peering down the various tracks

Into the distance                                 

Into the horizon

Not a yellow wood or

Bit of undergrowth

Anywhere in sight

Peering and

Staring and

Looking and

Hypothesizing and

Dreaming

Because

I’m standing out in the sun

Not at the mercy of shadows and wild beats and

Because

After all

It doesn’t make any difference

Way always leads on to way 

The Skeletal Day

Water

After breakfast

Banana

Yogurt covered pretzels

Pistachios

Toast with butter

Water

Apple juice

After lunch

Cookie

Apple

Blackberries in soy milk with sugar

Water

After dinner

Cake

More cake

Cracker

Toast with butter

Water

The Discomfort of True Love

It felt like I was lying on a small branch and

I’m sure that could you have seen my eyes

You would have seen the eyes of a Lion

When his mouth is open as wide as he can get it and

His beloved trainer’s head is inside

It was practically circus worthy

But for the look in his eyes

When he sized up my head and neck for an opening and

Then took advantage of it

It was the look that my beagle used to give me

When she was searching for a way to join me on the couch

So

Obviously

We were there like that for the entirety of the singing performance

Plus an extra minute or so

Enjoying the love

That Only

A

Dog

And

A

Cat

Can

Ever

Know

Getting a handle on things

He’s helping the cashier bag the

Six rolls of packing tape and

The grout sealer and applicator

When he runs into a problem with the plastic bag

He fusses, sighs, and says in a noticeably annoyed whisper

That he can’t find the handle

When the cashier helps him fix it

He thanks her

I sign the electronic signature pad and

Hand in hand we head for the door

Each of us content with the illusion

That we have a handle on things

I am Five, Hear Me Roar

I like cheese

I actually love cheese

I eat pizza crusts

For dinner

As the main dish

Occasionally with a smattering of raisins, grapes, peanuts, and maybe leftover pasta to accompany it

But pizza?

Which is essentially crust

In a less chewy and challenging form

Covered in cheese

Do I eat pizza?

Well

As of today

Yes

If you cut it into bits the size of a small Lego brick

Place them directly in my mouth

One by one

And dwell on the fact that I did not need to wash each bite down with milk

Without giving much thought to what might happen tomorrow

If you don’t

Or even if you do

Going forward

You would do well to remember that

I like cheese

My Grocery Lists

Every week I write a grocery list

On an ordinary eight by ten sheet of paper

Folded in half lengthwise

Produce on one side

Dry goods, meats, cheeses, and the like on the other

The week’s menu inside

I fold it in half again the other way to carry it in my pocket

Upon entering the first store I make marks to indicate where I might find each item

Then I usually scratch off the items on the list

One at a time

As I find them

Until every item on the list has a line drawn through it

But not always

Then I bring the list home

But not always

And refer to it throughout the week

But not always

Then I throw it away

Always

Eventually

Because

Every week I write a new one and

Age isn’t valued

Every where

Every week

New Foods Can Be Trying

Determination

Stubbornness

Inflexibility

Ridiculousness

Bemusement

And

Frustration

All intersect

At the moment

When your son

Pukes

While

Trying to force down

A piece of cantaloupe

Trapped In Winter

It's not cold enough
For me to escape the rain
So I stay inside

Happy Birthday ... With Love Baked In

A peanut butter sandwich cookie

Is not always

Just

A peanut butter sandwich cookie

A two layer carrot cake covered in cream cheese icing 

Is not always

Just

A two layer carrot cake covered in cream cheese icing

A piece of construction paper that is folded in half, covered in stickers, and scrawled across with letters

Is not always

Just

A piece of construction paper that is folded in half, covered in stickers, and scrawled across with letters

A blue Cape Cod with four bedrooms, two baths, a crumbling driveway, brand new marble countertops, dutifully made beds and emptied trash cans, and the fine aroma of juicy hamburgers and frying Brussels sprouts floating through the air

Is not always just

Levittown

And will not always be home

But

He knows that better than we do

It’s why he could look at me and solemnly dismiss my suggestion that we buy a cake

With a simple statement

Delivered as if he was a philosopher

Talking with an annoying but lovingly tutored graduate student

“Dad, we can’t buy a cake, we have to bake the love in.”

to my wife on her birthday ... a thank you for the perpetual spring

Outside rain washes

Away the remaining snow

Inside it’s always

...

flowers

Strawberry Malt

This morning

I put him in front of the television

For thirty minutes

So I could write this poem

It’s nearly ten and

I’m still writing it

Who knows what I was really trying to do

When I failed to hammer that can of paint shut

Last year

My only can of Strawberry Malt

I certainly would have liked to know

Two nights ago

When I was planning to touch up the living room walls and

The strawberry malt

Was more like a real strawberry malt

Then it should have been

I wonder what unhappy surprise will be waiting for me

Ten or fifteen years from now and

Whether I will be able to fix that

With Windex and

A roll of paper towel

Barry Bonds Should Be In The Hall Of Fame

Go ahead and leave

But when you come back

Check and make sure

That your top hat and her doggie are where they were when you left

That all the same houses are in all the same places and

That all the same money is in all the same piles

Because

She cheats

She’ll smile if you catch her

Roll around a bit on the floor and

Wait for you to take your turn

She won’t protest

Won’t lie to the grand jury

Won’t plead not-guilty

But

Like them

Like all of them

She really doesn’t feel guilty

She wants to win

They’re all just trying to win

At monopoly

At baseball

At life

She cheats

But I still play

She cheats

But she’s good

Whether I stay or go

Whether I choose to recognize it or not

Sibling Smiles

He’s smiling

Now

He was asleep

Thirteen seconds ago

He was groaning and moaning and rolling about

Mostly hidden underneath his covers

Six seconds ago

Now

I can see his hair

His ear

And his smile

Because

Through the spaces between the wooden dowels in his headboard he can see his sister crouching down in the two feet between the head of his bed and the wall and staring right at him

He’s smiling

Right now

Because

He is awake

Right now

And he can see

Her

Smile

Parental Vortex

Polar bears swept inside by the polar vortex

Are like parents when the power goes out

Why put on an extra layer of blubber

If you don't really need it

If it is only an inconvenience that makes you sweat

If it is easier to play with colorful beach balls and

Gawk at tourists then it is 

To scrounge for extra food

If the bills get paid

If the e-mail gets read

If Facebook is visited

If no one stays unhappy

After all

It can't stay cold forever

Not anymore

Searching For Alternative Definitions

Tonight

As my son was screaming at me

For insisting that he eat at least half a sweet potato fry

Or surrender his customary nightly bowl of cheerios

I was wondering whether it was true

That we are defined

By the causes we champion

By what we are willing to fight for

I love what you've done with winter!

record cold and snow
forty five degrees and rain
a man made winter

Dinner Party

You’re having a party

Your driveway is full of cars

The street in front of your house is full of cars

It’s awesome

Unless half of them belong to people who live in the house and

The rest belong to your mom and a couple of cousins

Who each drove over alone

Your son requires three plates for dinner

It’s awesome

Unless

One was used for the crusts from his sister’s pizza

One for a handful of olives and

One for a half cup of leftover macaroni and cheese

Then

All we are celebrating is modern excess and
Mess

why I tell my son I love him, would never tell him to suck it up. and have no problem when he wears a purse out in public and gives me hugs and kisses

Whenever a male Blue Bird-of-paradise is looking for a mate

He finds a quiet spot

Hangs upside down

Spreads out every feather he can

Puffs his chest in and out

Rhythmically and

Sways back and forth

Rhythmically and

Waits for something to happen

If I was a male Blue Bird-of-paradise

This is what I would do

If a male Blue-Bird-of-paradise was me

There is no telling what he would do

Ha

Chimps produce laughter like vocalizations

Fine

But can a young chimp produce these vocalizations in response to the absurdity of signs admonishing people not to jump into the toilet

And then

Not five minutes later

Laugh even harder as he was being practically pushed into the toilet by his father’s stumbling attempt to help him urinate

If so

I’d be ready to clear out a chair at the table of civilization

For them

And their laughter like vocalizations

New Years Walk

Brisk

But downright cold when the wind was blowing

Fast          

But even faster when I was carrying him on my shoulders

Quiet

But quieter still when she picked up her American Girl traveling case rather than pulling it and its squeaky wheels behind her

Fun

But less fun when he was proclaiming in his loudest and best whine that he couldn’t stand it any longer and this was certainly not a ten minute walk

Intimate
But less so when we exited the woods and found ourselves walking alongside extensive fields watching runners go quickly by and wondering not about our own resolutions but instead about whether we would be likely to see these folks out on a Saturday in April or May

Unrushed
But for the last half mile after he declared he had to urinate and a debate ensued about how best to meet that need, a debate which ended with his pants pulled down next to the car

Successful

But with only dry underwear to point to as evidence amidst the screaming and hitting going on in the backseat

Complete

But not really, as we were all outside again after nap

New

But not really
Amazing
And ...