Adrift
That I'm having this much trouble, and spending this much time, trying to wrap a theoretical framework around my blog is a sure sign of something that can't be good. Whatever it is, though, I'm stuck with it. After my last effort to place a common thread through my posts, I had a long talk with my audience. I had left my keyboard confident that there was one less bit of untidiness in my life. And then I talked to her, and found none of my tidiness had made it through to her side of the information abyss. She had been quite satisfied with my new focus on the perils of raising a moral child, ignorant that I hadn't meant to focus on that at all. When I attempted to enlighten her, I only confused myself. I could hear the forces of irrationality and disorder celebrating in my head. Or is that the forces of irrationality and disorder in my head celebrating. Either way, I felt defeated and indignant. Why would I want to do anything as mundane as write about laying out a moral framework for my daughter? I gave it no more thought until this morning as I was pouring vats of boiling water down my drain in a race with my own kidneys to clear a clog in our sewer main before I had to clear my own clog. After receiving a unexpected bill for $300.00 and staying up worrying about it, we woke up to yet another potential sewer problem in our biggest investment and the clearest indication that life is a muddle of mistake, opportunity, joy, confusion, fleeting enlightenment, and heartbreak that I have yet run across. And my wife asked God why he was doing this. I wondered how I would explain bad luck, bad choices, and proper reactions to my daughter ... once I'd figured it out myself. And then it hit me. A blog about a stay at home dad's struggle to come to terms with morality in anticipation of explaining it to his daughter. What a great idea. I could continue my meandering commentary, with an eye to explaining what proper choices are in various situations, and more importantly how they can be discerned. And I would do it in a human centered, and God-blind, way. My moral code would be the product of analysis, experience, and over-thinking. It's a great idea, at least right now ...