Thursday, January 31, 2008
I entered fatherhood as an Elmo-hater. I saw Elmo as Sesame Street's equivalent to Scrappy. In my mind, post-Elmo Sesame Street was like post-Scrappy Scooby Doo. It sucked. The little red thing annoyed the hell out of me. His whiny little voice put me instantly on edge. I despised everything in Elmo’s world, from the fish to the bald perv that peeks in the window. Elmo was an interloper taking away time from Grover, Oscar, Bert, and Ernie. I wanted Kermit brought back on Sesame Street, and Elmo kicked off. Not only was Elmo annoying in his own right, but like Scrappy, he ushered in other annoying characters. Instead of Flim-Flam and Vincent Van-Ghoul Elmo brought Baby Bear, Zoe, Abby Cadabby, and Telly to prominence. Elmo had ruined a great show, and driven my favorite characters out of the limelight. His voice was irritating, his antics simple by Sesame Street standards, and his habit of referring to himself in the third person terribly annoying, or at least Sam thinks so. The few times I had watched a bit of Sesame Street in the last few years, all I had seen was Elmo. Elmo was evil, he had conquered Sesame Street, thus Sesame Street was evil and I wanted nothing to do with it.
And then Dipity took a liking to my wife's Elmo doll. My wife is younger, and grew up with an already corrupted sesame street. She liked Elmo, a fact I had always assumed was due to the misfortune of her late birth and her inability to know any better because of said late birth. I'd forgiven her Elmo-fatuation, and unfortunately I'd allowed the little red thing into my house. By the first time she saw him on you tube (we have long used Sesame Street excerpts on you tube to facilitate hair brushing and prettying), Dipity was already smitten. I was disgusted, at least at first. Somewhere between watching him sing with the Goo Goo Dolls and interact with Super Grover, the little thing started to grow on me. Now I actually almost look forward to Elmo's world, although the ask a baby stuff and the bald perv still annoy me a little. I like Telly now too. I mean, he learned to play catch from Joe Torre. Baby Bear's stock hasn't appreciated it quite the same way. He's the new Elmo/Scrappy. He's an annoying little know-it-all. And the fairy, well the whole magic thing just gets on my nerves. Why is it possible for spells to be cast on Gordon and Maria? No little sprite, or her wand, should be able to mess with Gordon. So the fairy and Baby Bear are still on my list, and Rosita is in limbo, but Elmo is on the rise.
Elmo's rise has been pretty under the radar, but it is more than a little disquieting. As I type this, Dipity is sitting on my lap reading Baby Bop Discovers Shapes. My thoughts are dark ... dark and purple.