Tofurkey and Bin Laden
This is what I have visited upon my children
By bringing them into the world
What I have given them
GPS and Asthma
A piano in a house with asbestos tiles
Long walks and obscene amounts of toys
At least it wasn’t
A Commodore Vic 20 and a Members Only Jacket
Or the Jackson Five and butterfly collars
Besides you can get Tofurkey for free from ShopRite
If you spend enough money on groceries and
It comes with a vegan chocolate cake
What else is there to say
But to give thanks to God or
Allah or
Whomever
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